Chapter 4, Part 2

'Don’t look now,' I said to Ose and Tife as their backs were turned to the entrance.
‘What?’ Tife said and turned immediately.
‘Gosh Tife!’ I hissed, ‘I said don’t look’.
‘Sorrrryyyy’, she hissed back as we all turned to smile at Jennifer.
‘Hey you guys,’ she smiled as she dragged the poor boy across the room. ‘How come I wasn’t invited to this little party?’
Gosh where was Obi when you needed her. She would have had a good retort.
‘It was impromptu; we just kind of bumped into each other,’ Tife lied
There was an uncomfortable silence as she let us bask in our curiosity.
‘Won’t you introduce us?’ Ose asked finally
‘Oh sorry!’ She said and giggled looking back at Tade like she had completely forgotten he was there.
‘Well this is Tade’ she said smugly as she introduced us round the table and we all shook hands. The boy was smoking hot. All six feet five inches of his delectable self. I could hear India Arie singing brown skin in the back of my mind. I didn’t let my hand linger in his for too long, the electricity could have blown a fuse in my brain.
He smiled at me and dammit, he had the cutest dimple on his right cheek. Thoughts were racing through my mind. First, what the hell was wrong with the guy and did he have a license to be that fine? I made a mental note to consult the authorities that dealt with such issues.
With the pleasantries over, she waltzed to the counter with Tade.
‘Did you see his dimple?' I asked the other girls who were just as mesmerized.
‘This is what happens when you get engaged, suddenly fine ass men start popping up everywhere trying to tempt you.’ Ose said grumpily.
‘He is very delicious, I’m sure those lips taste just like candy’ Tife sighed.
‘Stop drooling, I’m going to call both of your boo’s right now!’ Mimi said laughing. ‘But he is a fine piece of work! I can’t deny it.’
‘What’s he doing with Jen from Hell?’ I asked bewildered.
‘Opposites attract abi?’ Mimi said ‘Or maybe its Jazz, anything is possible with that girl. She’s so competitive and aggressive!’
‘I guess. So any update Zee? You saw the way she and those other girls were talking about you at Ose’s engagement.’ Tife asked.
‘I don’t even care what she thinks. She claims she’s blunt but she’s actually just rude.’ I said.
‘I mean it’s not like you don’t have admirers. But I see you outside with your stony face. You are unapproachable so most of the guys have given up. We all know the story but you have to move on. Its been almost a year now’ she said looking concerned.
‘I’m very happy being single’
‘Yes of course,' Mimi said. She didn’t really sound genuine but I let it go.
‘But I’ve been thinking and maybe I’m ready to see what’s out there’. I added.
They all looked up at me with contained excitement.
‘So where are we going to start?’
‘What’s this ‘we’ business?’ I asked
‘Well we could go clubbing, you might meet someone there and we haven’t gone out in a long time.’ Mimi said with glee.
‘Great’, I said a bit cautiously. I didn’t want them to get too excited.
‘Oh and I know someone who has been dying to meet you’. He is friends with Joe. He saw you at my birthday party asked about you, but I told him you weren’t dating. Maybe he’s still available’. Mimi was getting way too excited.
‘No thanks, no hook ups for me. I’m not a pity case. I can find my own man myself.’
‘See this is the problem with you. You are not open-minded. How are you going to meet people when you refuse to let down your guard and see the possibilities.’
‘Mimi, one thing at a time, lets go out first. I’ll let you know if I need hooking up.’
‘As you wish. But he’s a really nice guy.’
'Thank you madam Mimi.'
‘So when are we going out?’ Tife asked
‘Well I think it’s a rap for the next two weeks. There are rumors of no movement during the elections so it’ll have to be after that.’ Ose replied.
'Really, Ose, no movement at all?' Tife asked surprised.
‘Where have you been? I think till after a certain time but its best to just stay home to be on the safe side.’
‘Thugs on both sides have been causing trouble all around town and they said free and fair elections.’ I added.
‘It’s definitely not going to be free and fair,’ Mimi said.
‘Did you all manage to register?’ I asked
‘Yes.’ everyone said in unison.
'Who will you vote for?'
'I didn’t watch any of the debates but I’ll vote for Jimmy Agbaje...he seems the calmest' Ose said.
‘Oh wow! It could be deceptive you know, I’m voting for Fashola’ Mimi said.
‘So am I’ Tife said.
‘Why?’
‘Because my dad is voting for him, so he must have a good idea about him,’ Tife said feeling very proud of herself.
‘Mimi?’
‘Because I like his jingle FA FA FA FA FASHOLLLAAAAA. Lagos e no go spoil, e go better, ego better eeeee’
‘Seeing as the papers are mostly propaganda we don’t know what news is real or fake. I can’t base my judgment on what I read or hear’ Ose said.
‘Yeah it’s a tough one for me. I need more information; no one is really saying what they are going to do.’ I agreed.
‘What do you mean, in FA FA FA FA FASHOLA, the song continues...plenty water…’
‘Mimi pleaasseeee!’ We all said laughing. She was driving us nuts with her crackling voice.
‘Okay so we will see how it goes then in two weeks we paint the town red?’
‘Yes! Exciting, Zee is on the prowl again.’ Tife said.
‘Well I must say I thank God for you. I thought you were never going to snap out of it.’ Mimi said. I know you were hurt, but you can’t hold onto that forever. Its like you are using it as an excuse to avoid guys.
‘Yeah maybe, it just been easier that way. At least I know I’m not getting any bullshit.’
‘Its better to have loved and lost than not to love at all.’
I’ll keep that in mind Mimi. How is Joe?
‘He’s fine’ she said without really catching my eyes. I guessed something was amiss but I didn’t drag the issue. She would tell us when she was ready.
‘Can you believe Rita broke up with her boyfriend?’ she said, changing the topic.
‘The one from when we did NYSC? She did? But she was at Ose’s party last week.’ ‘Yes Zee, after you left, they were arguing a bit in a corner and then she stood up in front of everyone, told him that she was sick and tired of waiting for him to propose then walked out on him. He chased her out and tried to grab her but her drink spilled all over him but the gist is that she actually emptied the drink on his head on purpose.’
‘She would never do that’ I said muffling my laugh with my hand. ‘That’s crazy’
‘I know right, I wasn’t there at the time but I was shocked when I heard.’ Ose said.
'Ose you and are causing discord among couples.' We talked for a bit longer then called for the bill.

Chapter 4, Part 1

The week went by quickly and the girls and I planned to meet on Friday evening after work. As I pulled up to a makeshift parking lot just outside Roberts Café, I looked at my rear view mirror and saw that a few of them had already arrived. A random guy who had christened himself the owner of the parking lot land was trying to direct my parking and this was after I had completed the task. He was still moving his hands in a rotating motion when I turned of the engine. As I stepped out and locked the doors, he greeted me profusely promising to take care of the car. This was of course not without a price. I saw Tife and Mimi waiting through the glass walls and waved to them but they were so deep in conversation that they didn’t notice me until I walked right up to them.

‘Hi guys!’ They both looked up, smiling. Tife got up to give me a hug. She was a head taller than I was and slender. She always said how she’d trade my figure for her height.
‘Have you been waiting long?’ I asked as I gave Mimi a hug.
‘Not really, Ose called, she’ll be a little late and Obi had to go home’. Mimi said. Mimi was mixed-race. She wore her hair in an afro and loved to dress…retro was the best name I could give it. Today she was wearing a short lycra dress with a yellow flower in her hair.
‘Yeah, she called me. It’s not very safe crossing the bridge to the mainland at night and she has stuff to do in the morning so she can’t sleep over’. I responded.
‘I don’t understand it. The crime has become so bad. Last week a colleague of mine was robbed at gun-point after the thieves smashed his windows in traffic’ Mimi said, shaking her head.
‘And no one is brave enough to fight them; some of them are just petty thieves’ Tife added.
‘I can’t because you don’t know if the boys are high on something. If they are desperate enough they might stab you or shoot you even’ Mimi replied.
‘I can’t help but to feel sorry for them because the country has failed them’ I said, trying to see it from the thieves’ point of view.
‘Please they are just thugs, no better than terrorists’
‘What other options do they have? The public education is rubbish because teachers are not paid well and schools are not maintained and then even if they do well and manage to get into university, their degrees mean nothing and they can’t find jobs.’
‘They can start small businesses or apply for lower skilled level jobs’
‘While people drive around in flashy cars and live in huge mansions…its not that easy to swallow’
‘So the solution is to prey on others?’
‘That’s the only option some of them see when they get desperate. Its not like things are cheap. They need to survive.’ Mimi and I could have gone on forever.
‘Well sitting on this table discussing it is not going to change anything, that’s what everyone ever does.’ Tife concluded.

While we ordered drinks we discussed the things we would need to assist Ose with.
‘We can’t do much for now’ I said, ‘I guess when we know what the dates are, and then we can plan the Bridal Shower and party favours.’
‘It has to be a surprise’ Tife said excitedly.
‘That’s if you don’t call her to invite her by mistake!’ I said referring to a time when we had planned a surprise birthday party for Mimi and Tife had sent her the e-vite. The surprise was totally ruined.
‘You guys will never let me forget’ she cringed.
We ordered drinks and discussed plans for the shower until we saw Ose walking briskly through the driveway.
‘Sorry I’m late. I had a deadline.’ She took the empty chair next to Tife. She worked at Glo as an assitant project manager and always had deadlines.
‘So what’s up?’ she said looking excited. I was starving so I looked around for the waiter.
‘Nothing girl. It’s all you. Have you set a date yet?'
‘We were thinking December when most people would be planning to take a vacation anyway’. Ose replied.
‘That gives us roughly nine months’ I said.
‘You think that’s a long time but the months will fly by’ Mimi said looking worried.
‘I trust Ose, she will have the whole plan locked down for each day for the next nine months.’ As I was saying that, Ose brought out a medium sized book with green fluffy fur on the cover and a pen to match.
‘You already know you are bridesmaids and Zena is the Chief bridesmaid. Olu’s sister who I only love sometimes because she can be such a brat is the fourth bridesmaid and the fifth is Yaa.’
‘Is that your Ghanaian friend from uni?’ Tife asked.
‘Yeah, I’ve given her enough notice and she can even go home before she returns to the UK.’
‘Gosh I’m so excited, I can’t wait to see her!’ I said. Yaa was the sweetest person I had ever met. She shared a flat with Ose and me until we graduated. I moved back home after my masters, Ose stayed to work for a few years before moving home and Yaa got a job in London.
The waiter finally made it to our table. If Obi was there she would have asked him if he was tired from his trek. I ordered the main course and my specialty, waffles and vanilla ice-cream for desert.
‘I’m really hungry’ I told the waiter, as I flashed my thirty-two ‘So please can they be quick?’ He nodded in confirmation. Somehow I knew that wouldn’t speed things up but it didn’t hurt to try.
While we waited Ose wrote down more things she needed to add to her 9-month plan.

• Wedding dress
• Bridesmaids’ dresses
• Choose hostesses
• Look for Venue
• Inform the church
• Choose a date in December
• Select Wedding Colours
• Asoebi….

The list was non-exhaustive and as our orders arrived, we decided to save the brainstorming for another day.
‘Ok, I’ll email the spreadsheet to you guys’
‘Wow thanks, can’t wait’ I laughed. I foresaw a bridezilla in the nearest future.
‘Oh yeah guys, by the way…the engagement isn’t at my house’
‘Oh where is it going to be?’
‘My uncle’s house. He is the oldest brother and since my granddad is dead we have to do it at his’. I knew where this was going.
‘It’s in GRA….’
‘Oh that’s not far now….’
‘In Benin-City’ she chuckled. Mimi and Tife looked at her incredulously. Mimi’s fork was frozen half-way in her open mouth.
‘And everyone is coming!’ she declared, smiling. I was laughing hysterically because the look on their faces was priceless.
‘You guys it's only three hours away by road and one hour by air!’
‘Air ke, I’m not flying anywhere with the way things have been going’ I said as the humour left my soul. I was petrified of flying and the current series of crashes had put the fear of God in me.
‘Scaredy cat. Aero has a very good reputation besides I heard the Lagos-Benin expressway is currently a death trap’ Tife said
‘I like the road just fine thanks. Its not that bad, just pot holes here and there’ I responded.
‘Pot-holes? More like massive craters. It’s even safer to fly I tell you.'
‘Its okay, I’ll meet you guys there.’

The conversation lulled as we dug into our food and just as we were getting our desert, Jennifer from hell walked in with her current boyfriend.